My year in disjointed imagery, or how I learnt to stop worrying and love the internet
At the risk of incurring the wrath of Lynn Truss, I’m taking the chance to break my long blog silence, sans blogger apologia, and share some thoughts and highlights of 2012. I intend neither to gloat nor to provoke reaction – merely to get things in order for my own sake, and share them with anyone who may have the time and inclination to read.
For those of you who wait with baited breath – a quick update on what I’ve been doing since I last blogged in August.
1. Working – after my long awaited departure from a certain Large Financial Institution on May Day, I found myself in a Slightly Smaller Large Financial Institution. I need the money, and it rejuvenated the whole business of working for me, which had almost certainly made me sick. I’m enjoying it more than I’d come to believe I could
2. Cashing in my carbon savings – as someone who has always hitched, bussed, trained and taxied, the Scottish climate has finally persuaded me that at my age and in my life circumstances, a drivers license (and a vehicle to use the wretched thing on) would be A Good Thing. Step forward M&M Driving School, who single handedly, fearlessly and with great skill and commitment have turned me from someone who could stall a hurricane in a tropical sea, to someone who may not yet have passed their test, but can drive, and loves to.
3. Cutting corners – one massive highlight of this year for me has been turning the lens into a medium of expression. After using a camera to record a poem for National Collective, my second outing “behind the camera” starred Alan Cumming and was directed by John Tiffany. This was a classic example of fortune better than you even knew at the time coming your way. Since then I’ve been shooting, cutting and scheming away with projects large and small. Some may come to fruition, some may not. Some may never be what they might have been. What I’ve found though is a love that was always there. It was just waiting to be discovered. So thank you to National Collective and to NTS for showing me what I can do, and for including me.
On a personal level, this time last year I was too ill to work, lurching from pericarditic episode to pericarditic episode, using high doses of steroids to function at a kind of normal level. Normal is still defining itself for me, but I’m well enough to imagine and look forward to passing my test, writing more (every day, even if it’s something I can’t use), scripting, shooting and cutting more films, working on other people’s shoots, reviewing on the Sphinx, on here and elsewhere.
The people I love this year have seen dreams come true, have lost parents, have fought back, have had the rug pulled under them, have despaired, have hoped, have lived, have made this world the crazy place it is that fills me with love and fear and confusion and sheer unbridled gratitude at the gift of life. May 2013 be lucky for you and yours, a bad year for injustice and mendacity, exactly as things have always been and like nothing you’ve ever seen or heard before. Whatever it has in store